Remembering Madelyn Richards

Thoughts By Colleen:

Our grandma Madelyn was one of the classiest women you could have met. She taught us what it meant to live life. After knowing our grandfather John for only two weeks, she married him and that's when it all began. Being that he was a higher ranking career marine, they traveled the world living in both Japan and Taiwan. Our parents, Patricia, John, and Neal always talked so fondly of their time in Taiwan with gramp and gram. They dined with Chang Kai Shek and many other notable figures while overseas. They retired to Montgomery, New York so gram could be close to her family at "the farm." Eventually us grandkids, Patrick, Brian, Colleen, Jason, Kari Jenny and Kasey as well as great grandkids, Jonathan, Becca, Mikey and Sara arrived to hear all the wonderful stories of a life well lived. We will never tire of hearing them and we will always hold you in our hearts grandma.
We can only assume that grandpa needed your help with keeping Uncle John and Uncle Neal in line.

Madelyn Malley Richards of Montgomery, NY, passed away peacefully on April 16, 2012 at home.  Born in Montgomery, NY on the Malley Farm to Cornelius and Margaret Malley on February 22, 1914.  Madelyn had a very full life. She was a school nurse in Virginia and a public health nurse for Orange County.  Madelyn loved her family. She enjoyed her flowers and watching the backyard birds. She was an avid Yankee fan. Madelyn traveled the world with her husband and three children. She lived in Japan and Taiwan. She always looked forward to coming home to the farm for vacations.  Madelyn is survived by her daughter Patricia A. Conroy and husband Peter daughter-in-law Anne Richards
grandchildren Patrick Kiernan, Brian Kiernan and Colleen Kiernan, Jason Richards and his wife Mami, Kari Conklin and husband Barry, Jennifer Richards and Kasey Richards
great grandchildren Jonathan Kiernan, Rebecca, Mikey and Sara Richards
several loving nieces and nephews also former son-in-law Robert Kiernan and former daughter-in-law Sherri Davenport and special neighbors and friends Pat Geraghty and Ann Zeider.  She was predeceased by her husband Major John J Richards (USMC Ret.)
sons John J. Richards and Neal E. Richards, brothers William, Raymond, Harold, Art Malley and sister Marion Droney
Charitable donations may be made in Madelyn's memory to the following organizations:
care4Kari
http://www.care4Kari.blogspot.com

Walden Humane Society
PO Box 135 Walden, NY 12586

Life Is A Journey- Thank You For Letting Me Journey With You!

I can honestly say that I am who I am today because of the wonderful John and Anne Richards Family! (Lt to Rt Jason, Jennifer, Anne, Kari, John).  I was blessed to have had their influence and learned many good character traits from them along the way.  



Where do I even begin?

• Kari and I learned the meaning of friendship.  We navigated the evil waters of teenage dating together.  Kari is one of my Always friends- Time and distance come and go, but we are always connected in our hearts.  For ever and always- the quilts of our lives are inter woven in many ways!  Resourcefulness- Is the greatest gift you have ever given me.  We think outside of the box.  The best adventures begin that way!
• Anne is my ideal mother figure! (Sorry MOM)  I have never seen her overcome by parental frustration or heard her raise her voice in a yell.  She is calm, cool, collected and fun!  She has celebrated and supported me from training bra to new mother and homeowner.  She gives great advice and always lets people know that she treasures them in her life!  Thank you for the living example you have been to me!  If I can be half as level headed and supportive to my Emma then I think we will get out of childhood unscathed! 
• John was always the life of the party.  I can remember I thought he was "quiet" at first.  I quickly learned some "need to know information about the Yankees" and he talked to me a lot more after that.   Baseball playoffs were times of great fun at the Richards house.  John was quick to voice his pride in academic accomplishment and over the years he cheered many young family friends to chase their dreams and shoot for the stars!  I can clearly see myself sitting with him one summer evening waiting for Kari to get home from a shift as Super Duper (real blast from the past).  It was shortly after I lost my father.  John and I talked about both of our fathers and he reinforced how proud of me my father was.   It was a great pep talk to keep chasing my dreams and achieve my goals.  Mutual loss and lonesomeness bonded us that night.  Thank you for tolerating Kari &  Carrie in the kitchen!  I know we fed you some slop over the years, but  you ate it and praised us anyways! 
• Jason and Jenny- Thank you for the experience of having an older brother and younger sister.  So many great memories! 
• I can't complete this post without acknowledging some Richards family pets that have been near and dear to my heart.....Beauty, Donald (the sneezing snot throwing cat), Horses (trips to the barn in all kinds of weather bright and early builds good character!)

Life Is A Journey

Birth is a beginning
and death a destination
And life is a journey:
From childhood to maturity
and youth to age;
From innocence to awareness
and ignorance to knowing;
From foolishness to desecration
and then perhaps to wisdom.
From weakness to strength or
from strength to weakness
and often back again;
From health to sickness
and we pray to health again.
From offense to forgiveness
from loneliness to love
from joy to gratitude
from pain to compassion
from grief to understanding
from fear to faith.
From defeat to defeat to defeat
until looking backwards or ahead
We see that victory lies not
at some high point along the way
but in having made the journey
step by step
a sacred pilgrimage.
Birth is a beginning
and death a destination
And life is a journey;
A sacred journey to life everlasting.

With Love,

Carrie

 

 

A Daughters Tribute to John Joseph Richards Jr

Love From Kari (Today 3/27/12)

My heart was shattered this morning with the passing of my father, an amazing man who I adored, honored, and loved so much. I am only grateful that he is no longer suffering, and that I have family and friends equipped with glue to help me slowly put back the pieces. I will miss you Poppa John. I will treasure the memories, of which there are many. RIP John Joseph Richards, Jr. Oxox

A Message From Kari (3/26/12)

I love, I love, I hate I hate,
I like, I wish, for goodness sake?..
I hope, I hope, I pray, I pray,
I will, I won't, and for today...

... I love all of the amazing memories I have with my father that I will treasure forever. Thoughts that will put a smile on through my tears for years to come.
I love that my father has touched the lives of so many with his witty and fun personality.
I hate that lives circumstance make it unsafe for me to be with my father and my family at this time when we should all be together.
I hate that our family has suffered so many tragedies in the past few years, way to many people taken to soon.
I like that when I am crying in my husbands arm Talia comes howling at me, I imagine she's saying cheer up mommy.
I wish the doctor had said it was safe for me to be with my dad.
For goodness sake.. Start doling out the good news to our family, it starts with Delaney's birth and Kasey's engagement, keep it coming.
I hope that my father can feel the love that surrounds him here and sees the open arms he will be received with over there.
I hope that my voice is enough in place of my physical presence.
I pray that when it comes it's painless and peaceful.
I pray that my family leans on each other and reaches out for a hug if they need it.
I will try to keep my mind busy over the next few days so in don't go nuts.
I won't beat myself up for circumstances I can't control.
And for today... I will fill my mind with as many good memories as I can and send good vibes to my amazing father.

In Loving Memory of Neal Richards

If you are finding this post, you know that the Richard's family has suffered a great loss this week.  Kari's Uncle Neal Richards passed away and today's post is dedicated to him.  Uncle Neal had a larger than life personality and every story I know is filled with love, laughter, jokes, and fun!  I could write post after post about Kari's wonderful family.  Neal's family has requested donations in his memory be made to Care4Kari to help with Kari and Barry's ongoing medical expenses.  A huge gift and a true gesture of love.



Funds raised will go directly to Kari and Barry via Paypal.   Kari continues to recover from colon cancer and Dermatomyositis. Funds raised will help with ongoing medical expenses. 

Thank You and An Update!

Thank You to everyone who has said a prayer, send a message, mailed a card, deposited a donation, and cooked a meal.  Your love and support is much appreciated and has turned many gloomy days bright. 

• Kari is now at Horton Medical Center (60 Prospect Avenue, Middletown, NY 10940) 2nd Floor- Rehab.  Please join me in mailing her some happy mail.  The funnier the better.
• Kari's skin rash from Dermatomyositis  is almost gone and the endless itching is a memory!
• Kari had a bit of a careless caregiver (PC for Nurses Aid) and now has a bit of a shoulder injury.  This makes her therapy and exercise a bit more challenging. The good caregivers earn the new preferred title. May the bad ones encounter some poo throwing patients!
• Kari enjoyed an orange slush today and has another swallow study tomorrow.  Let's keep our fingers crossed that things are moving in a good direction.  Kari is gaining weight (sorry Kari, but it is a GOOD thing) and getting excellent nutrition from a PEG tube.  She has visions of Red Robin dancing in her head, hopefully tomorrow's test will tell us how soon we can all start "The great burger drop".
• There will be a few new missions this week. Please check back on Thursday for details on how you can help!
• Every day Kari is making progress.  Her strong spirit and ability to love through all she is going through; reaffirms how grateful I am to have her in my life. 

Calling All Cooks- Mission Feed Barry Some Non Institutionalized Food

It is tradition for newlyweds to plump up a bit- these 2 are losing weight and this week's mission is to try to stop that.  Kari's doctors are working to get her calories and nutrition, so our focus needs to be Barry (& Jen).  He is a champ and has been at the hospital with Kari over the past week.  Has anyone tried to eat hospital food for a week?  Enough Said.  If you live nearby and are cooking for your family anyway,  please consider setting aside a portion for Barry or Jen.  Sometimes homemade food can lift you out of the druthers.  If you need help getting the food to them please email and I can make arrangements for someone to pick it up.  Freezer meals are wonderful.  Thank you to everyone who has showered love upon Kari and Barry! 

Wants-vs-Needs and Love For The Landlord

When I started this blog, I was deliberate in my intentions.  My goals are simple, but they are outrageous given these economic times.  I am upfront and honest and will continue to be.  If nothing else, friends and relatives are offering vast emotional support for Kari & Barry.  Kari & Barry are touched by many generous monetary donations that have poured in via Chip In this week. I think it is very important for everyone to understand that housing, transportation, and an over the top bed are really NEEDS in my Opinion, not Wants or fanciful wishes. 

Today I learned that I may have offended Kari & Barry's landlord, and for that I am truly sorry.  I have great love for someone who allows a tenant to modify entry ways without batting an eyelash.  Kari & Barry truly have a good landlord.  I am sure he would likely let them out of a lease if we are so blessed to find them another living arrangement.  Kari & Barry are good people who honor their words and fulfil their contracts and their lease is no exception.  Kari's apartment is safe and well kept, it is just not safe for her. 

My intention was never to make her landlord feel bad.  We can't ask him to rearrange the apartment into a single level configuration.  That is beyond his control.  Likewise, it is next to impossible to find housing when you can't go looking for it.  Renting in a small town like Malone is easy- word of mouth would likely find us something safe and reasonable, but downstate is another ball of wax.  My hope is that someone downstate can help us locate a safe rental (To rent until Regis & Kelly award them a dream home- I have faith that it will happen).  Safe in this context means safe for Kari.  Her current apartment is safe for the rest of us, just not for her.  Kari needs an open floor plan, single story apartment with 2 bedrooms.  A bathtub or large shower stall to allow her to use a shower chair.  Kari needs a place that has very few stairs and hopefully none at all.  She has a long recovery ahead of her.  I hope that we can all network and spread their story with the hope that we can find them a rental that will meet their needs. 

A Message from Kari and an update

Kari wanted me to share a post she wrote on The Care 4 Kari &Barry Facebook age.

Thank you all for your love and support. Our families on both sides have had many sad and challenging times this year (mixed with happy moments such as marrying my amazing husband). When they say someone is battling cancer, think UFC title bout, as we've unfortunately found out to many times in our family (and one my... dearest friends family). It is a horrible disease I hope they find a cure for soon. I can't imagine how you would do it without the amazing friends and family we have at our side. 

Adding dermatomyositis has complicated the situation in many ways, as it is extremely rare, especially when paired with cancer. I have felt like an episode of House as my body began to fail me and dr.'s struggled to figure out what was hap...pening and how to stop it. A fall and my first ambulance ride ever sent us on the road to finding a way to stop my muscles from being attacked. On Tuesday we start a new treatment we pray will finally allow some healing to begin. The comments from friends, family, and strangers have brought tears to my eyes many times over the past few days. Words cannot express our thanks.

 

Tomorrow 2/8, Kari will start a new therapy that has good success in stopping the progression of Dermatomyositis and this should allow her to begin therapy to build her muscles up following the onset of Dermatomyositis.  Kari will not be able to take many calls, send many texts, or write many emails over the next week, but she loves to get texts, emails, cards and support.  Please join me in sending her silly emails, text messages, and warm fuzzies to make some of her time fly by a little faster.

 

We love you Kari!  You are one in a million and you will get over this new hurdle soon! 

Thank You! 24 Productive hours!

Thank you to everyone who has dropped a line to Kari & Barry today.  So many of you have reached out with encouraging words.  Many thanks for the donations that have poured in.  Mission #1 and Mission #2 are in full swing.  Please consider nominating Kari & Barry for an appearance on the Nate Berkus show.  They are so deserving and I am sure Nate could help in our quest to lift some burdens.

Regis and Kelly are giving away a dream home and I think that Kari & Barry are perfect for that kind of contest.  Links to both are in the "Mission" department.

In anticipation of superbowl here is a little treat- a sneak peek at the Chevy Commercials set to air.  One of them may generate a survey or trip off as a prize winner.  Several will only be aired in overtime.  Just a little perk for showering the Conklins with love and support!

Check back tomorrow for another batch of commercials, a contest, and a new mission.

Live With Regis and Kelly Dream Home Give Away- Mission #2

Regis & Kelly are hosting a contest for a dream home.  Perfect for Kari & Barry.  A new home, designed to meet their needs, would meet their need for safe and accessible housing.  Please join me in nominating Kari & Barry for this contest.

Game Plan:

• CLICK HERE to read about the contest.
• Please feel free to send your nomination using this link.
• I would also like to send in a complete packet of nominations and a video for added oomph.  I would love to use parts of your letters in an application video as well.
• Please be as descriptive as possible. Why do they deserve the home? What have they done to make the lives of others better? 
• Please consider writing me an email: carriescoupons@aol.com or fax your letter to me at 518-207-0694.
• I also need pictures for a video and would love music suggestions. 

This contest is an opportunity for us to give Kari a safe place to rest and relax.  Thank you for helping!!

Welcome

Thank you for all of the love and support.  Please follow along and help us in our quest to lift Kari & Barry up.  Life has certainly been rough lately, but together we can make a big difference and make their days a bit brighter!

Chip In

Kari & Barry need love and support.  While our pockets may be more shallow than deep, together we can make a real difference.  All donations will go directly to Kari & Barry via paypal.  Thank You!

Contact Us

Kari & Barry can be reached via email:  karbar427@yahoo.com

Blog Author (Carrie Coty) can be reached via email:  carriescoupons@aol.com

Kari & Barry would love to be contacted via email, but response time may be delayed due to inpatient stays, medical treatments, etc.  Blog author is available to facilitate contact through other means as needed.

Post Office box address coming soon.

The Mission- Needs and Task #1

 This one is simple.  There are a few things that Kari and Barry need desperately.  Basic things that will make what they are going through a bit more bearable.

• A Safe Home that they can afford. 

I am not asking for someone to give them a house, but it would be a wonderful gesture.  This seems huge.  It is what Dave Ramsey would call a Big Hairy Audacious Goal.  Maybe there is a consultant some one knows that can help us locate safe and accessible housing.  Maybe there is a wonderful handicapped accessible house sitting vacant that you know about.  Maybe if we all Chip-In, We can help to lift this great financial burden.  Stuck in a lease, Kari on disability, Barry working reduced hours to care for her.  These are things we can't change.  But we can each do something.  $1 from each of us can start moving mountains and every cent may help them face one less stress for one more day.   I see a single story Ranch style home in their future.  With a bedroom and tub/shower that will accommodate Kari's needs.

• A Comfortable Bed

Right now Kari can only get comfortable in a recliner and even that is not very comfortable.  Every couple deserves a bed they can share and enjoy.  Think infomercial adjustable beds! Two sided adjustable beds.  Kari can position herself to match her favorite recliner positioning and Barry can sleep next to her contorted in his favorite position as well.  Cuddling can cure. Holding hands can heal.  Does anyone have a connection in this industry? Please share your time and talents if you know of a way to make this happen.

• Better Transportation

I know, another huge wish for Kari and Barry, but really and truly medically needed.  Kari has undergone several MAJOR abdominal surgeries.  One surgery was very complicated and she has to heal from the inside out (think packed open wound).  Sorry to be graphic, but I want you all to understand why this is a NEED and not a "want".  Kari and Barry have cars and right now getting out of the house is a huge challenge.  That is going to be the case for many months.  Kari needs to leave her home to go to many doctor appointments, therapy sessions, and to bathe/shower.  She needs to get out for lab work and chemo.  Her auto-immune complication has limited her ability to move from sitting to standing.  Right now getting in and out of a car requires 2 helpers, inclined wedges, boosters, and is physically draining.  Ideally Kari needs a vehicle that will allow her to swivel and shift forward to her feet.  She just cannot get from sit to stand without significant help.  Kari needs the help of 1-2 people to get from sitting to standing.  Personally, I think she needs an SUV.  Something with height and running boards.  Kari can not afford to fall and injure herself.  I know this is a huge thing to hope for, but it is a major need at the moment.  If you know of a corporate sponsor or have a dependable SUV rusting in your yard, please consider helping.

Helping out is simple.  Donate your time and talent in helping us reach these 3 big goals.  If you have spare change or a few dollars to Chip-In to lift these burdens that is wonderful.  Prayers, Positive Thoughts, and as much buzz as possible about these needs would be greatly appreciated. 

Kari and Barry have established a paypal account.  All funds donated will go directly to them.  There is no middle man.  Chip-In if you can.  Thank You! 

How Else Can You Help

• spread this story like a wild forest fire, bad infection. or plague.  Make it your mission to introduce your friends and family to Kari & Barry.  Before we know it all of our friends will be working together to meet their needs.
• Please join me in nominating Kari & Barry for the following Contests or Share (as described below)their story with hopes that Celebrities will get involved.  We may not have deep pockets, but they do!  We can each be the catalyst that causes a benefactor to emerge and help!

Missions To Accomplish (Choose 1, Some or All...Participate in each mission to help secure help for Kari & Barry) Please Consider taking 1 hour out of your schedule this weekend to help me put Kari & Barry into the spotlight.

Mission #1:  Knock on the door of Nate Berkus and The Nate Show.
** Mission #1 Saturday 2/5/11**

CLICK HERE to submit a Story Idea. (Specifically this link is looking for NYC area residents that love Nate. Kari lives north of the city and who doesn't love Nate? Focus on Community, what Kari and Barry add to their community and beg him to make some of their days a little sunnier.) or

CLICK HERE to nominate Kari & Barry as "deserving people".  The nomination for this states:

Do you know an amazing person who rescued someone of lived through a difficult time?  Is there a "hero" in your neighborhood who always puts others before themselves?  Did someone help you and change your life?  If you know a deserving person in need of recognition, please email us their story along with a photo.  Please only respond if you are willing to share your story on national television.
***I think this second option is the best match, but either form will draw attention***

I have selected 13 hosts/contests/events to target in the next 24 hours.  Please join me! 

I also ask that you keep the Richards' and Stearns' families in your thoughts and prayers.  Kari's grandma is not well tonight.  If you can drop her a note of support karbar427@yahoo.com I know she would appreciate it.  She is stuck at home and wishing she were well enough to be with her family.

The Cause

Hello World!  Let me introduce you to 2 amazing people- Kari and Barry Conklin.  Over the next 12 days you will be reading a bit about them and about how you can help me lift a significant burden from them. 

Somethings About Kari: 

• Kari was born in the Hudson Valley (Upstate New York) and moved Malone (WAY WAY Upstate) in the 5th grade. 
• She attended Malone Central Schools and graduated from Franklin Academy High School in 1996 (Regents with High Honors).
• Kari Graduated from Elmira College in Elmira NY in 2000
• Her luck with vehicles is pretty consistent with her luck lately.  Involved in more accidents (caused by other people) than anyone else I know.
• Kari has worked in online media, marketing and web design.  She enjoyed her positions at The Culinary Institute of America and Ottaway.  She is currently on medical leave from a leading media giant.
• Kari enjoys volunteering and fundraising and has been actively involved in raising funds to fight against Alzheimer's Disease.  She began her volunteer endeavors one winter's day in 1995 at The Malone Animal Shelter.  Since then she has gone on to dedicate a great deal of time and effort to supporting women in domestic violence shelters and their children. Kari volunteers for CASA and has also served as a court appointed special advocate for children.
• She is the Boggle Champ (unless she lets me cheat).

Somethings About Barry:

• Barry grew up in New Windsor and Texas.
• He graduated from high school in 1998 from Leander HS in Texas.
• Barry relocated to "Upstate" NY and works in a health related customer-client relations field.
• He is a big kid at heart and loves all sorts of video games.
• Barry supports the Alzheimer's Association and spent many years caring for his mom, who suffered from this life changing disease. 
• He is a huge Jets and Yankees Fan, but knows how to share the remote control.

About The Author Of This Blog ( Carrie):

• Kari and I met in the 5th Grade and here we are many moons later.  We go together like peas and carrots.  She really is one in a million. 
• Kari has supported me through thick and thin.  She carried me through many dark valleys in my life.  She has supported me during times of crisis.  She has driven all night to get to me, on more than one occasion, when I needed her the most. 

Why am I introducing them to you?:
I am trying to draw some national attention to them in hopes of a Valentine's Day Miracle.  These two have the greatest love story.  Just when Kari thought she would be always a bridesmaid and never a bride; Just as she thought she was destined to become a crazy cat lady; fate intervened and these two love birds found their lobster!  Kari and Barry were married in September, but getting to the alter was not all fun and games.  They have been thrown one curve ball after another.  A few months before their wedding Kari's dad was diagnosed with cancer and began treatment.  Weeks before their wedding Kari's beloved Grandma Stearns was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  They held their breath and hoped both would be well enough to share in their special day.  If those worries were not enough, Kari started having GI symptoms that were thought to be stress related at the time.  She spent the week before the wedding in the hospital and was quite uncertain about getting out of the hospital in time for their wedding.  With less than 24 hours until the blessed event, her doctor cleared her for discharge and they hoped that her scary experience with intestinal blockage and diverticulitis was behind them.  She found herself  back in the hospital within 48 hours of their wedding.  The following week Kari was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer and Barry's mom passed away.  The last few months have been filled with resections, infections, complications, ablations, perforations, recuperation, stagnation and vegetation with no possiblity of vacation in the immediate or distant future.  Kari is dealing with the effects of her cancer and her aggressive treatment protocol. On top of that, she has been having great difficulty with her ability to move and get around.  She was recently diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disorder called Dermatomyositis.

What would make Kari & Barry happy right now?:

• A Temperpedic Adjustable Bed and housing with handicap features.  They are locked into a lease and are trying to make due with what they have, but at the moment Kari cannot get to her bedroom to sleep.  She has no access to her tub and shower.  She sleeps in her recliner and Barry curls up near her on the couch.  He is a trooper and I love him and admire all of the fine things he does to bring love and joy to Kari every single day.   Love is in the air and many nationally syndicated shows are hosting love bird contests.  Help me spread this story and this cause like a bad virus!  In the coming days I am going to be asking all of you to vote and help me in my quest to knock on the doors of Oprah, Ellen, Regis & Kelly, Nate Berkus, Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz.
• Power in numbers, my friends! 
• Stay tuned for ways to get involved, please.  And pass this story along to everyone you can think of. 
• If you believe in love, If you believe in miracles, join me to move a mountain for Kari and Barry.  It's about time for their luck to change.